Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries
CARL JUNG
Changing times are like sand dunes which keep changing their shape as the wind passes by. I say it with a pinch of salt when I say that we are most aware of it when we see white hair appearing on receding hairline. Kids growing up, parents getting older and we are somewhere in between.
changing sands of time
I personally feel we are a cusp generation simply cause the life and times of our parents are so diametrically different from those of our children. While we understand the joint family culture our parents grew up in, our children growing up in a nuclear family (mostly single child) simply cannot comprehend that kind of life.
THE CUSP GENERATION
We are the generation that started with Doordarshan (the only tv network India had in 70s and 80s) and has reached Netflix. We have seen a time when going out for dinner was more or less unheard off to a time when weekend dining is a norm. From strict rules regarding every aspect of life to a life where we make our rules according to our comfort. It’s not a question of which is right or wrong or which is better. It’s just an observation of how in a single lifetime we have transcended a phenomenal change so silently. We are a live example of the changing times.
paradigm shift
While I am posting this article in my kitchen a very beautiful preparation for the new year is happening. Here is my daughter baking plum cake ( she wanted to cut one at new year midnight) and here is her granny preparing early for Sankranti (a hindu harvesting festival celebrated in early january). Need I say more about changing times?
The duality
We live in duality day in and day out. Engaging with our parents and children within the same time frame is a classic example. When my mother says don’t talk for too long on phone and waste time I understand it, when my children discuss homework on phone at length or keep zoom meetings to discuss projects I understand that too. Sometimes we are thrown back in time when we see old pics those small black and white ones. They are still dear to me unlike the filter-generated sepia-toned pictures. Sometimes I wonder nothing is real anymore.
B & W snaps of the reel camera
A recent visit to my native place took me back to my childhood. Simple joys of just plucking fruit and eating without thinking of pesticide, drinking water from the handpumps at the roadside (they still exist albeit non-functional), walking long distances unmindful of the time to commute. It never occurred to us as kids to even question it, even though we were living in city and visited our village only in summer holidays. Will my children relate to these experiences? Can I expect my children to enjoy these pleasures? I doubt it very much. They are born and raised in a different era.
unbridled summer enjoying plucked fruit
Changing times for better or………..
While it’s true that our external world has changed phenomenally, that life has become easier, faster, and more comfortable in so many ways. But it certainly stands to question if it has become better. Are we happier, healthier, and more at peace than our parents? I guess the answer would be no. Our pay packages cannot buy us any of these.
Our parents more or less worked their entire life in one job saved every paisa that they could, and tried their best to give a good education to children while at all times working within the framework of society, relatives, and joint family demands. Repair was the rule for broken items, recycling for old items, and every new furniture or electronic item was bought with much diligence and fanfare.
home made garam masala
Even a simple vanilla ice cream slab was very dutifully cut in equal portions and distributed. And those used to highlight of our lives as kids. New clothes were reserved for twice-a-year events and hand-me-downs from siblings to distant cousins were normal. I blissfully was unaware of anything called indoor sports. Antaakshri was reserved for power outage nights or long train journeys. Each and every sweater I had ever worn was knitted by my mom, there was always only 1 pair of footwear for every member and you certainly gave up your bed if guests came to stay over. Phew, the list is endless. Our schools, our postcards, our wall calendars, our TV antennas, our radio, our summer terrace with jarred pickles, our neighbors, our tea biscuits., our simple festivals, all are preserved in the sands of time.
The generation divide
I wish I could but show a glimpse of that to my children. A generation that seeks every answer on google, which knows the latest gadget and are darn good with technology, whose romance with new stuff gets over in 24hrs or who doesn’t think twice in discarding things which they don’t like the taste or looks of. I am certainly not saying they are frivolous; most parents do try to inculcate in them the value of money but let’s accept it they have never been hit with a scale or a stick. Patience is certainly not their strong point. The tik tok generation which enjoys t20 matches, can they go through watching a test match. Each generation with its culture has its own plus points and drawbacks. All cultures grow around the circumstances existing at that point of time.
transcending the generation divide
THE BALANCING ACT
Having 2 kids, I know firsthand that this generation of kids has their own struggles, their own social pressures, and their own worldview. But if anything we need to tell them that while the external world might change the internal values mustn’t. That it can be never cool to raise voice in front of elders. That most good things in life are worth waiting for. That hard work and perseverance still is the corner stone for success. That no matter how delectable the dish looks in an edited photo its final test is the taste.
SEEMLESS TRANSITION
Covid did teach us to introspect and put brakes on our fast pace life. So many of us turned to simple marriage ceremonies, enjoyed cooking at home, and taught kids how to sweep and mop. There is a place and time for everything. If we who appreciate the culture of the past and understand the need of the present can teach our kids to balance out their everchanging external world with rock-solid internal values we would have done a good job. I guess you will agree when I say..
“FILTER COFFEE STILL RETAINS ITS TASTE IN THE WORLD OF STARBUCKS”.
So if you relate to this article in any way at all why dont you share your opnion or your childhood memory which still retains its special place in your memory in comment section. I would love to hear from you.
“For the sense of smell, almost more than any other, has the power to recall memories and it’s a pity we use it so little“
Rachel Carson (Marine biologist& conservationist)
wonderful sense of smell
Of the five senses we humans are endowed with, probably the least explored is, the sense of smell. We seldom think of it or revel in its world, the way we do with our sense of hearing or sight. Yet, in a strange way covid pandemic has brought our attention to it. Anosmia (loss of smell) is certainly a prominent feature of covid infection. “Wake up and smell the flowers” is a call to all of you out there to actually bring your focus on to your sense of smell. Have I told you, that what makes walking so intriguing is, it infuses each of the five senses and in a way thoroughly jogs them?
Jogging the five senses
The beautiful sites I see every day, the chirping of birds I hear, the warmth of early morning sun combined with coolness of the wind on my skin all are all delightful experiences. Oh! before covid situation I have even tasted dates on my walk to the alain oasis. Smelling the sweet smells of nature is an important part of my morning walks.Smelling freshly mowed grass in the park is a distinct smell, I relate my morning walks to.
Five sense Delight
Enigma of sense of smell
Mobile phones have made it possible for every one to click photographs quiet easily. We grab our phones to capture the special moments for eternity. But, have you thought about the fact that, smells cannot be captured and stored in any known device.It has to be captured only by our brain into our memory. What’s our first introduction to something delicious being cooked in the kitchen? The taste!…..wrong. The sight! ..um um..wrong again. Even before you open the house door it’s the aroma which hits your nose and conjures the image of a very tasty meal.
In Bangalore (Bengaluru now) certain streets you will notice the distinct delicious aroma wafting from bakeries..(I think some mouths just watered reading this ). The bouquets you gave to loved ones and they richly inhaled the fragrance and instantly loved it, the heavenly sweet smells of fruits like mangoes (my favourite) and jackfruit (not exactly my favourite), the cake baking in the oven with its buttery and vanilla notes are all happy smells in our memory. I am a beach person , the cool odor of salty winds is very precious. I am also an avid book lover (that’s why all my post begin with quotes ), so the musty smell of old books and diaries is dear to me and takes me to an era gone by.
Memory and smell
Its queer how memory functions. A large part of our memory is also about the smells from our past, yet we seldom acknowledge it. Don’t we all remember our mothers cooking? Do you remember what your favorite flower smells like? Do you buy mint or basil after you smell it? What’s your favorite perfume fragrance ? Is it floral or fruity or may be citrus notes with hint of cedarwood and cinnamon? There is a whole industry out there only in the business of smell come to think of it (more so in the arab world). Wine tasters know to swirl and smell before tasting. Millions of people across the world wake up and smell the coffee. Right?
Wake up and smell the flowers
When I go for my morning walks I see lots of blooms and I cant help but click away on my mobile phone. The artist in me thrills at the colours nature has bestowed on them and for good reason too …pollination. In my morning walks I make it a point to pass by the jasmine shrub and actually inhale deeply just to revel in that experience. Now you see, I just gave you one more reason to tie those shoe laces and go for a walk, didn’t I? So do wake up and smell the flowers on your morning walk. Some flowers have a distinct smell and others have a subtle smell. We may not be very tuned to distinguish between smells but the entire animal kingdom depends on it for food and survival. Look at some of my morning shots of bloom and you will surely wonder what they smell like?
what a beauty !orange is a pretty colorunusual bloom
Did you spot the black bumblebee
Enjoy every experience of life, no matter how mundane it seems. The tomorrow that you have postponed all your wishes, big plans and enjoyment to may never come. Why not enrich each day by enjoying the smaller experiences life offers every single day?
I have penned a poem on one such experience which I am sure you will all relate to. Its aptly titled “The Chase”.
THE CHASE
It came to me at a
unguarded moment
Was mildly surprised
at the intensity it brought
My eyes gleamed
and mouth watered
Reminiscent of
some golden days
The warmth spread now
touched the soul
Tried hard
couldn’t let it go
I had to chase
to find the source
Feet now restless
eyes were sore
I closed my eyes
allowing heart to lead
Tracing memory lanes
for a Childhood sweet
There… then.. just
at the end of street
Was the vendor of
the delicious treat
Smile spreading across
resplendent face
Ran to him
with a little less grace
I savored
to my hearts fill
Dripping fingers
sloppy still
Some days
just like that
Take you back
with a simple smell
A dusty book
A musty car
A dried flower
Open old scar
It was just a smell
Of beautiful days
Carefree life
and sun-kissed face
It was just a smell
Of forgotten friends
Sharing treats
and swinging feet
A heavy sigh
escaped unknown
Softened eyes
Seldom shone
It was just a smell
It was just a smell….
Did you connect with the poem ? Haven’t we all at some point passed by old alleys, our college canteens, places we hung out with our gang…..they all had their distinct smells. After reading wake up and smell the flowers I urge you all to pay attention at least for a day on the smells of the day. I promise you, that you will stumble on a whole new world. It’s a fact that brain is sharper with practice and a whole part of our brain is dedicated only for olfactory memories.
Olfactory Training
Olfactory training with known smells
Sadly, in covid times, olfactory training has become a common word. Do you know what they ask you to do in olfactory training ? They ask you to operate from your memory. Even if you cant smell an item you are asked to remember how it smelt before you lost your sense of smell. For example when u inhale into the coffee pot you are asked to remember how coffee beans used to smell to you in the past. This they make you do with a whole gamut of other smells. This helps one rewire the brain to regain the sense of smell.Also the sense of taste and smell are closely related. That’s why when you catch a cold, food tastes bland. Now you know how important smelling is?
When we were kids me and my brother had planned to one day learn to bottle the earthy smell of rain soaked soil. That is, world’s best smell according to me.
There is a much talked about book by Diane Ackerman. She truly know what she is saying when she quotes “Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains”.
A thought provoking read
What is your favorite smell? What smells take you back to home…to your college…to your favorite sweet vendor ….Please do share. This world will be such a lonely place if we did not learn to share our experiences. You will be surprised what smells people relate to or remember. If you think the write up is interesting or thought provoking do share with friends and family especially your mother, cant think of anyone who doesn’t remember their moms cooking.
I can’t exactly remember when I started my morning walks.. but I do know that having once started and pursued it through the initial few weeks, it became my morning coffee…
The first step
Walking is a hobby thousands of people around the world pursue. Yet, for every single person who is into this habit there are at least a thousand who are not. I know, cause the park is mostly empty in the morning where I go. It’s a fact that it is one of the healthiest hobbies to pick up. Yet, somehow most people are not into walking. To see why? Let’s start right at the beginning…
So, what makes a man/ woman get up or not get up in the morning? Right from my childhood I have been a late night person. I would always tell my friends I have seen 5 am from the night end and not from the day side of the clock. For my exams I could sit as late as possible in the night studying. But, I don’t remember ever getting up early to study. I loved my early morning sleep so much. That is primarily the reason why most of us are not able to take the habit of morning walk. I shall tell you guys about my hilarious attempts on waking up early in a later post. For now, lets just enlist the reasons. There are scores of people who don’t feel motivated enough to wake up in the morning. But the catch is, the habit in itself is motivating i.e only one who has pursued it through the tough first few weeks (oh ! they are tough) knows that once you are in the groove you get addicted and get motivated from within.
Another prime reason is late nights. There are lots of people who are in the habit of sleeping late. Either they come back late from work or house chores are piled up or Netflix is simply too good. Let’s not forget our online alter ego. If one sleeps late its difficult to catch up with the sun. So that’s a big hurdle to cross.
There is a major working population who, must leave home early so can’t afford an early morning walk. For them an evening walk is always a good option. I have tried those too. It may not have all the benefits of morning walk but most of them still hold good.
There are few people who simply can’t leave home, whatever may be the time. Reasons could be many. But, even for those people, 20 min of “my time” engaged in exercise or meditation inside their home is helpful.
The biggest HURDLE of all is the same which stops us all from doing anything challenging in life. “The Will”. I am no expert. But take it from a person who devours inspirational books that no person, no book, no inspirational quote can catapult you into taking up any habit. The sheer inertia of morning sleep is pretty tough to overcome. The reasons for not taking the habit often outnumber the good ones in our head. So, what do we do ? YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND. Yes ! That’s the only thing between you and your sneakers. Your own mind. Whatever works for you to take that first step, TAKE IT! There is no one technique or mantra which works for all. BUT ONCE YOU START DON’T STOP UNTIL YOU HAVE CROSSED THE 2 WEEKS MARK. Not even on weekends. Let one weekend be late night free. Trust me you will thank yourself for trying this one out. Cause it would open your eyes to a different world that you never knew existed.
Just Do it (says nike too ! )
Here’s to the first step. Cheers !
